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Karen L Monahan
Valued Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 292 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 11:08 am: |
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winter is a funerary gradation so very much as a tree without leaves to finger element after element grieves to reunite earth to sky to wind to sun to moon to life youthful and days brilliant and lustful as grass populating dirt as copiously as a bicycle card on a bicycle wheel or a boy chasing a dog chasing a squirrel past whistling fathers on lawnmowers purring below birds chirping above drones of air conditioners beside sheets dancing with shadows on what once was a world on a world so very much as a tree without leaves to finger element after element grieves
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SplinterGroup
Advanced Member Username: splinter
Post Number: 937 Registered: 11-2003
| Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 11:32 am: |
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Wow! I'd like to say more but Wow! seems the best response I can muster now. |
Karen L Monahan
Valued Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 297 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 11:41 am: |
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wow works for me. Thanks! (((smile))) Karen |
marty
Advanced Member Username: marty
Post Number: 741 Registered: 10-2003
| Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 6:42 pm: |
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Karen, I am speechless and in awe! YOU DID IT! Cheers Brethren |
marty
Advanced Member Username: marty
Post Number: 742 Registered: 10-2003
| Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 6:44 pm: |
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Karen, Pardon me for coming back for another comment, but this just has to be said. The title is so strong it pulls you in at once, and then one starts reading and gets pulled in a whirlpool of emptiness, only that it is not really empty but an image that conveys emptiness. The circular reference and the images you choose were exquisite...and the language here, so very much as a tree without leaves to finger element after element grieves its music...pure music. Cheers Brethren |
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 314 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 7:09 pm: |
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Thank you so much, Marty! I appreciate your thoughts, and your interpretation is music to my ears. (((smile))) Karen |
Gary Blankenship
Senior Member Username: garyb
Post Number: 5921 Registered: 07-2001
| Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 7:20 am: |
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Wow from me also. For the short list, this tree. Smiles. Gary
A River Transformed http://www.lulu.com/content/178110 . December's FireWeed http://www.mindfirerenew.com/
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Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 320 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 8:47 am: |
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Thanks Gary.. glad you like my tree. ((smile)) Karen |
Lazarus
Intermediate Member Username: lazarus
Post Number: 462 Registered: 10-2005
| Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 11:10 am: |
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A poem, a tree, sounds, fullness and emptyness, longing...everything is here. Sometimes it seems as if there can be only one poem. “Something sacred, that's what they want” -Jim Morrison. From the movie “The Doors.”
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Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 322 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 12:02 pm: |
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Oh, Laz! God,(only one poem) that would be terrible. But, hey, thank you so much for liking this piece. Actually, doing anything concrete, or formed at all, is something that is rare for me. Like most of my poems though, they tend to write and form themselves into whatever they want to be. Is this the same for other poets? hmm Or am I just weird?.. lol okay, scratch that second question. Thanks again. (((smile))) Karen |
Lazarus
Intermediate Member Username: lazarus
Post Number: 467 Registered: 10-2005
| Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 12:11 pm: |
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Well, that's the only way I could describe the effect your poem had on me. This one wrote itself into what is. (Message edited by lazarus on December 15, 2005) “Something sacred, that's what they want” -Jim Morrison. From the movie “The Doors.”
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M. Kathryn Black
Senior Member Username: kathryn
Post Number: 2914 Registered: 09-2002
| Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 4:52 pm: |
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Karen, and who said you can't find real poetry on the net? It's right here ladies and gents. This is profoundly wonderful. Best, Kathryn |
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 326 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 7:07 pm: |
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What a wonderful compliment! Thank you, Kathryn, very much. (((smile))) Karen |
michael julius sottak
Advanced Member Username: julius
Post Number: 1955 Registered: 12-2003
| Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 7:47 pm: |
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add another "Wowzer" Karen... and this one little nit... a bicycle card on a bicycle wheel (sorry the image was there... and it is so strong of a write to easily overlook, but, i scratched my head for a second, even knowing what you intended-- and it works... but may I suggest this bit of deviousness?: the Queen of Spades on a bicycle wheel |
karen
Valued Member Username: trig
Post Number: 180 Registered: 09-2005
| Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 11:03 pm: |
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joining the chorus, wow |
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 328 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 7:05 am: |
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Thanks michael/j/jaja, and karen. (((smile))) Y'all have all been too kind. Karen |
Dan Cox
Valued Member Username: dcox56
Post Number: 117 Registered: 08-2005
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 7:15 am: |
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Karen, This is just so great I do not know what to say. I especially love that you have focused on form without sacrificing sound here. A very impressed "Wow" from me too. Dan. |
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 330 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 7:31 am: |
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Thanks Dan, Honestly, it just happened this way. Really the blame would belong to Chris George. I said that I would try a winter poem, and I really didn't think I had one in me... viola! guess I did. Now, I'm not sure what I will do with what I have, but I am feeling really blessed and that may just be good enough. (((smile))) Karen
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Zephyr
Senior Member Username: zephyr
Post Number: 3454 Registered: 07-2003
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 8:24 am: |
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A belated WOW..somehow I missed this earlier. |
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 331 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 8:35 am: |
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Thanks Z. (((smile))) Karen |
Emusing
Moderator Username: emusing
Post Number: 2359 Registered: 08-2003
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 10:29 am: |
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Karen reading this aloud is pure pleasure. There is a small part of me that wants an end rhyme with "moon" but the chorus of approval is so thunderous here, I may be stampeded. winter is a funerary gradation so very much as a tree without leaves to finger element after element grieves to reunite earth to sky to wind to sun to moon to life youthful and days brilliant and lustful Beautiful work! E |
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 332 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 10:59 am: |
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Thanks E! Stampede-LOL I hear ya! It is a thrill to thrill poets. (((smile))) Karen |
~M~
Board Administrator Username: mjm
Post Number: 6082 Registered: 11-1998
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 12:51 pm: |
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Just chiming in with my congrats on a very fine work, Karen. Hard enough to capture such great flow, but to also consider form at the same time makes it all that much grander! Excellent. |
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 333 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 1:19 pm: |
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Thanks M, I really appreciate your thoughts. (((smile))) Karen |
Gary Blankenship
Senior Member Username: garyb
Post Number: 5946 Registered: 07-2001
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 1:26 pm: |
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Speaking of trees... http://hoodhyper.homestead.com/oak.html Smiles. Gary who is certain who have the POTW
A River Transformed http://www.lulu.com/content/178110 . The Dawg House http://garydawg.blogspot.com/ . December's FireWeed http://www.mindfirerenew.com/
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Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member Username: klhmonahan
Post Number: 334 Registered: 08-2004
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 1:45 pm: |
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Gary, Yes, a wonderful tree. Thank you so much for sharing that beautiful oak with me. I hope others do themselves a favor and take a look. The trees look nice side by side. Don't ya think? (((smile))) Karen |
Gary Blankenship
Senior Member Username: garyb
Post Number: 5947 Registered: 07-2001
| Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 1:48 pm: |
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A forest needing only chimpmunks... Smiles. G
A River Transformed http://www.lulu.com/content/178110 . The Dawg House http://garydawg.blogspot.com/ . December's FireWeed http://www.mindfirerenew.com/
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