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Karen L Monahan
Valued Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 292
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 11:08 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

  
winter is a funerary gradation

so very much as a tree without leaves
to finger element after element grieves
to reunite earth to sky to wind to sun to moon
to life youthful and days brilliant and lustful
as grass populating dirt as copiously as
a bicycle card
on a bicycle wheel
or a boy chasing
a dog chasing a squirrel
past whistling
fathers on lawnmowers
purring below
birds chirping
above drones of
air conditioners
beside sheets
dancing with shadows
on what once was
a world
on a world
so very much as a tree without leaves
to finger element after element grieves


SplinterGroup
Advanced Member
Username: splinter

Post Number: 937
Registered: 11-2003
Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 11:32 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Wow!

I'd like to say more but Wow! seems the best response I can muster now.
Karen L Monahan
Valued Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 297
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 11:41 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

wow works for me.

Thanks!

(((smile)))
Karen
marty
Advanced Member
Username: marty

Post Number: 741
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 6:42 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Karen, I am speechless and in awe!

YOU DID IT!

Cheers Brethren
marty
Advanced Member
Username: marty

Post Number: 742
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 6:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Karen,
Pardon me for coming back for another comment, but this just has to be said. The title is so strong it pulls you in at once, and then one starts reading and gets pulled in a whirlpool of emptiness, only that it is not really empty but an image that conveys emptiness. The circular reference and the images you choose were exquisite...and the language here,

so very much as a tree without leaves to finger element after element grieves

its music...pure music.

Cheers Brethren
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 314
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 7:09 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Thank you so much, Marty! I appreciate your thoughts, and your interpretation is music to my ears.



(((smile)))
Karen
Gary Blankenship
Senior Member
Username: garyb

Post Number: 5921
Registered: 07-2001
Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 7:20 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Wow from me also. For the short list, this tree.

Smiles.

Gary


A River Transformed
http://www.lulu.com/content/178110
.
December's FireWeed
http://www.mindfirerenew.com/
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 320
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 8:47 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Thanks Gary.. glad you like my tree.


((smile))
Karen
Lazarus
Intermediate Member
Username: lazarus

Post Number: 462
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 11:10 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

A poem, a tree, sounds, fullness and emptyness, longing...everything is here. Sometimes it seems as if there can be only one poem.
“Something sacred, that's what they want” -Jim Morrison.
From the movie “The Doors.”
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 322
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 12:02 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Oh, Laz! God,(only one poem) that would be terrible. But, hey, thank you so much for liking this piece. Actually, doing anything concrete, or formed at all, is something that is rare for me.
Like most of my poems though, they tend to write and form themselves into whatever they want to be.
Is this the same for other poets? hmm Or am I just weird?.. lol okay, scratch that second question.

Thanks again.

(((smile)))
Karen
Lazarus
Intermediate Member
Username: lazarus

Post Number: 467
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 12:11 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Well, that's the only way I could describe the effect your poem had on me.

This one wrote itself into what is.


(Message edited by lazarus on December 15, 2005)
“Something sacred, that's what they want” -Jim Morrison.
From the movie “The Doors.”
M. Kathryn Black
Senior Member
Username: kathryn

Post Number: 2914
Registered: 09-2002
Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 4:52 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Karen, and who said you can't find real poetry on the net? It's right here ladies and gents. This is profoundly wonderful.
Best, Kathryn
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 326
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 7:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

What a wonderful compliment! Thank you, Kathryn, very much.

(((smile)))
Karen
michael julius sottak
Advanced Member
Username: julius

Post Number: 1955
Registered: 12-2003
Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 7:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

add another "Wowzer" Karen...

and this one little nit...

a bicycle card
on a bicycle wheel

(sorry the image was there... and it is so strong of a write to easily overlook, but, i scratched my head for a second, even knowing what you intended-- and it works... but may I suggest this bit of deviousness?:

the Queen of Spades
on a bicycle wheel
karen
Valued Member
Username: trig

Post Number: 180
Registered: 09-2005
Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 11:03 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

joining the chorus, wow
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 328
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 7:05 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Thanks michael/j/jaja, and karen. (((smile)))

Y'all have all been too kind.
Karen
Dan Cox
Valued Member
Username: dcox56

Post Number: 117
Registered: 08-2005
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 7:15 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Karen,
This is just so great I do not know what to say. I especially love that you have focused on form without sacrificing sound here. A very impressed "Wow" from me too. Dan.
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 330
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 7:31 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Thanks Dan,

Honestly, it just happened this way. Really the blame would belong to Chris George. I said that I would try a winter poem, and I really didn't think I had one in me... viola! guess I did. Now, I'm not sure what I will do with what I have, but I am feeling really blessed and that may just be good enough.

(((smile)))
Karen
Zephyr
Senior Member
Username: zephyr

Post Number: 3454
Registered: 07-2003
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 8:24 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

A belated WOW..somehow I missed this earlier.
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 331
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 8:35 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Thanks Z.

(((smile)))
Karen
Emusing
Moderator
Username: emusing

Post Number: 2359
Registered: 08-2003
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 10:29 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Karen reading this aloud is pure pleasure. There is a small part of me that wants an end rhyme with "moon" but the chorus of approval is so thunderous here, I may be stampeded.

winter is a funerary gradation

so very much as a tree without leaves to finger element after element grieves
to reunite earth to sky to wind to sun to moon to life youthful and days brilliant and lustful

Beautiful work!

E
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 332
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 10:59 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Thanks E!
Stampede-LOL I hear ya!

It is a thrill to thrill poets.

(((smile)))
Karen
~M~
Board Administrator
Username: mjm

Post Number: 6082
Registered: 11-1998
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 12:51 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Just chiming in with my congrats on a very fine work, Karen. Hard enough to capture such great flow, but to also consider form at the same time makes it all that much grander! Excellent.
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 333
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 1:19 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Thanks M, I really appreciate your thoughts.



(((smile)))
Karen
Gary Blankenship
Senior Member
Username: garyb

Post Number: 5946
Registered: 07-2001
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 1:26 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Speaking of trees...

http://hoodhyper.homestead.com/oak.html

Smiles.

Gary

who is certain who have the POTW


A River Transformed
http://www.lulu.com/content/178110
.
The Dawg House
http://garydawg.blogspot.com/
.
December's FireWeed
http://www.mindfirerenew.com/
Karen L Monahan
Intermediate Member
Username: klhmonahan

Post Number: 334
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 1:45 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Gary,
Yes, a wonderful tree. Thank you so much for sharing that beautiful oak with me. I hope others do themselves a favor and take a look.

The trees look nice side by side. Don't ya think?

(((smile)))
Karen
Gary Blankenship
Senior Member
Username: garyb

Post Number: 5947
Registered: 07-2001
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 1:48 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

A forest needing only chimpmunks...

Smiles.

G

A River Transformed
http://www.lulu.com/content/178110
.
The Dawg House
http://garydawg.blogspot.com/
.
December's FireWeed
http://www.mindfirerenew.com/

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